What Is Schizophrenia Like?

- God and just when you think it stopsit just starts up again.Yeah, I'm ready for it to be done.(light music)- Today we're doing a simulation of hearing voices.- I have never done anything like this before.- I'm doing the simulation today for my brother.He was diagnosed with schizophrenia recently.- I have a few family memberswho have delit with schizophrenia.I'd like to understand how big the gulfbetween the way I experience the world and the waysomeone with schizophrenia would experience the world.- My nae is Autumn and I am schizophrenic.I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2015.I can particularly identifytwo different voices from my past.One is a kind of raspy, masculine, deep, dark voicethat usually says my name multiple timesand another voice usually tells me to go different places.I've heard up to five different voices at one timeall talking about different subjectsand crowding my head in chaos.It is already hard enough for people with schizophreniato deal with it every single day.Try to understand our situationand how it might be from our point of view.- I guess I'm expecting a new understanding.- I'm feeling a little nervous about this, I gotta say.I hope it provides a different perspective.- [Recording] I said you stop it now.Look at it, eyes are everywhere.Filthy, filthy filthy, the smell of it.No good, that's right, absolutely.- I'm gonna start the auditory hallucination simulatorand then just try to do some basic household chores.I just started it and I gotta say it's really creepy.I was gonna try to put away some dishesbut I can't really focus.- There's a lot of whisper, there's a lot ofoh my gosh, this is really creepy.- So I'm like 10 minutes in right nowand it's seriously like terrifyingbut I only take solace in the sorry, I can't think.I know it's a simulation and I know I couldtake the headphones off at any timebut I'm determined to keep them on,at the same time very freaked out.That's hard to articulate.- Now I really feel like I can't get sentences out.One of them just told me I was disgusting.- I tried going for a walk to kind of pass the time.I gotta say being outside in an environmentthat isn't where I live but I can't really control fullyis even more terrifying.- As I'm seeing all of this I'm listeningthrough all of this and I'm kind of just experiencinghow hard it is to put sentences together,how hard it is to talk or explain or do anything.- I know it's a simulation but some of the crueltyreally resonates, really hits home.Okay, so I'm just lying in bed now.It's the only thing that feels comfortableis just lying in total darkness, I'm ready to be done.I finished the auditory hallucination simulatorabout five minutes ago.I feel like I still hear it.- I just did a short meditation here at home.I would not have been able to do thatwith the audio on at all.It takes a lot to listen through the voices.- So it's the next day.Some of the more cruel phrases like you eat shitor you stink, you hear it over and over and overand over and over again and it starts to really affect you.It wore me out.- I do feel closer to my brother now.This was a great eye opening experience.- I still would not willingly go throughsomething like that again.It's allowed me to access that empathy for them.- It's our job to learn more.- If I could say anything to peoplewho do not have schizophrenia, I would justlike to tell them to not judge others so harshly.We are mostly just misunderstood.We are able to make a living, we are able to raise families,and I hope that one day everyone in the worldis able to see that.(light piano music)

The only way to learn about schizophrenia is to talk about schizophrenia

Check out more awesome videos at BuzzFeedVideo!


BuzzFeed Motion Picture’s flagship channel. Sometimes funny, sometimes serious, always shareable. New videos posted daily!

Credits: https://www.buzzfeed.com/bfmp/videos/33812

Licensed via Audio Network

Neutral Personalities Character Traits. Stick Figures Man Icons.
leremy/Getty Images
Negative Bad Personalities Character Traits. Stick Figures Man Icons.
leremy/Getty Images
Positive Personalities Character Traits. Stick Figures Man Icons.
leremy/Getty Images
Negative Personalities Character Traits. Stick Figures Man Icons.
leremy/Getty Images
Set of comic speech bubbles and elements with halftone shadows. Cartoon style. Vector illustration in black and white
Morjachka/Getty Images

Hearing Voices Network

The National Empowerment Center
Angus Strachan
Autumn Likes Elephants